Entries Tagged 'Humor' ↓

Is the Internet saturated with blogs already?

There are blogs just about on any subject, category or topic you can think of. How is a person supposed to create a unique blog these days? There are software applications, and websites, designed to search the Internet to see if the content you write is unique or if it has been posted elsewhere already. How can one guarantee that what they are writing is unique?

Suppose I have a blog about recipes. I post a blog about my favorite spaghetti sauce, it’s a family favorite. Someone in Italy post a blog about spaghetti sauce is this unique? We both will be using the same ingredients. That person may write “…into the boiling water you will add…” while I may write “…after the water begins to boil I will add…” but the fact remains, we are both using boiling water.

In one of my post I wrote that “the last original idea was the wheel, and that everything else is just a permutation” here is what Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary has to say about permutation:

1: often major or fundamental change (as in character or condition) based primarily on rearrangement of existent elements <the system has gone through several permutations>; also : a form or variety resulting from such change <technology available in various permutations>

Everything has been written already in one shape, fashion or form, hasn’t it?

How do the supporters of Georgie W. keep finding ways to defend his antics? Better yet, how do they do so with a straight face? Never in the history of the United States, and of the U.S. Presidency, has a sitting President stooped so low as to politicalize a campaign beyond the boarders of the United States. While he did not mention Senator Obama by name, everyone knows that it is he who Georgie was referring to. I guess “don’t air you dirty laundry in public” has no meaning to Georgie Bush. How do you defend that if you are a Bush supporter? It’s outrageous, hey but so was his election.

Everyone knows that the 2000 election was stolen from Al Gore. So, here we are almost at the end of his long, long rein in the White House, and what does Georgie have to show for his Presidency? Well lets see, when he came into office he inherited the biggest surplus in US history. Today we are trillions in debt. When he came into office we were basking in the sun of peace time. Today we are in our seventh year of a war that he declared over and won by us 90 days after he had begun it. One year after he was in office, the United States experienced the worst invasion in our history. Topping even the invasion of Pearl Harbor. Then when he had the guy that orchestrated that attack trapped in the mountains of Tora Bora, he gives the command for them to abandon that mission and instead go seek out Saddam Hussein. Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11 but he did embarrass Georgie’s father when he was President. Nice to know that our President has his priorities correctly in place.

So, Senator McCain - you “Good Ole Boy” from the “Good Ole Party”, (GOP) in your next campaign speech let us hear you ask that one famous question that Georgie’s father asked when he was running for President, “Are we better off today than we were eight years ago”.

Ronald Reagan must be turning over in his grave; what a blunder you republicans have made of his (President Ronald Reagan’s) legacy. What with a bumbling fool that always manages to put his foot in his mouth for President! Not only did Reagan not like George H. Bush, now he has to R.I.P. knowing that Georgie Jr. is in the oval office. All I can say Ronnie, is that you left us in the nick of time.

God save us all, God Bless America.

From a strictly practical point of view, I think that Marriage Licenses Should be Renewable. Think about it. Every four years you have to renew your drivers license, if you don’t it gets revoked. Have a dog? Every year you have to renew your dogs license. If you don’t, you get a summons. Even the batteries in your smoke detectors get renewed, so why shouldn’t marriage licenses?

It’s not fair. People get married because they are young and in love. But, to quote Tina Turner, “What’s love got to do with it?” After four years of marriage, you’ve had enough. The sex is not regular, you don’t care how you look, she doesn’t care how she looks. You both walk around in PJ’s and slippers. She with her hair in rollers, you with five o’clock shadow and a cigarette hanging from your lower lip. And, right around this mark, the four year mark, you start finding fault in each other, and you seek excuses to stay at the job late, “working” overtime.

Wouldn’t life be simpler if at after four years you could renew your marriage license? Or better yet, opt out of renewing it. She’d have to pack her bags, jump in a cab and that’s it. The marriage license becomes null and void. Then you could go get a new model. The second time around you’d be prepared. We fellas go into a relationship all macho, but after a year or two of nagging, and seeing her walk around in rollers, lack of sex and no more hanging around with your buddies - you’ve had enough, you surrender. We go shopping with our wives and we’re in a daze. Our job is just to push the shopping cart, unload heavy items and mow the lawn.

But if we could renew our marriage license after four or five years, things would be different. You’d each know that in order to stay together past the four year mark, you each have to be on your best behavior. You wife would look as lovely as she did when you first met her. You would shower more and actually wear cologne. At night you’d be playful and frisky, and sex would come more often. But, since marriage is forever, there is no motivation to be playful at night, to look one’s best and be caring. Ever notice, that after the four year mark all married people start acting like brother and sister. They no longer act like lovers. Yeah man, they say marriage is an institution. I say so is a mental hospital.

Another part of marriage that should be optional is keeping the offspring. I mean how cruel can it be? You kill yourself doing everything for your children. Rush to the hospital on cold winter nights because the baby has a cold or slight fever. You put up with them slobbering all over you clothing, breaking everything and pooping all the time. You go crazy when they start dating, get their drivers license and go off to college. And how do they pay you back? They move out. But if keeping them after their fourth birthday were optional, everyone would be happy. The children would have to learn to become self reliant very early in life. They’d have no choice. If they want to eat they would have to learn to survive. We could opt in to keep them or to get some new children when we renewed our marriage license.

But it will never happen. Marriage will continue to condemn us until death do us part.

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